One of many reasons I love being a mommy…snuggles |
I am fighting the urge to not turn inward. Turning inward is what I did before. Shutting out the ones I loved outside our family of four.
Fear of the consistent comments of “when I was a kid that was not allowed, in my family that was not accepted whatsoever, send him to his room, yell back, put him over you knee, let him cry it out and avoid him…”
Avoiding, separating, and /or yelling is not what will smooth his road, sure fire way to make his road ahead filled with potholes.
Life is HARD…having community, support and deeply loved is often what is holding me together.
We really enjoyed Philadelphia Church this past Sunday, we started attending PC this summer.Harrison attended Little Feats Preschool (at PC) for one year before moving to India. Lewis attended all his preschool years at Little Feats. Being welcomed with open arms and sermon focused deeply on scripture. God is good...all the time.
"In 6th grade math, students have been practicing prime factorization and visualizing number relationships (an example of a number visualization found here). They worked in groups to create a visual that represented the prime factorization of a single 4-digit number or a variety of smaller numbers."- Sarah (Math teacher)
Billings Middle School, 6th grade and Whittier, 1st grade |
Cookie thinks the fruit bowl is her new bed...Although she thinks all surfaces belong to her... |
Shortbread lounging with turkeys...he also believes he rules the house |
I was able to accomplish a lot last night. I finished the journal I had been working on and read through the next one. July 2000-2003 was emotional. Emotional to read the words I wrote and the heartache of my teenage and young adult self.
I used to feel like I was unforgivable. I was not and am not. I learned so much from my deep mistakes and the journey I have been on.
I want to scream from the top of mountains to all teenagers and young adults that what they are going through is not the end. They will travel down dark holes as they navigate themselves. Some will travel down deeper and darker holes then others. You will make mistakes and endure heartaches. Lift your head up and give thanks to God for his forgiveness and love.
You are not broken and not something to be fixed. You are loved deeply and supported by so many. Find your place and your space in this world. Love deeply and pray to the God whom created you. You are not nor will never be perfect. The mistakes and failures are learning points to pick yourself up and go forward, tiny tiny tiny steps. No one is like you, be you and be brave. Spread your wings and fly. There is so much more ahead of you.
Sweet Lewis, the moment I held you for the first time, I started singing “Great is Thy Faithfulness.”God is so good and life is HARD at times. Being on this mommy road of two boys has been filled with more bumps, steep drops and curves then I could have ever imagined. Thankfully God is always next to, in front of, and behind Bill and I.